[Author’s note and warning: Version 1 of this letter, found immediately below, is the unfiltered, uncensored, generally unacceptable, un-Christian approach to counseling a husband. I apologize in advance for its publication and will probably regret it and repent tomorrow. If you can’t stomach it, please do the Christian thing and forgive me, then close your eyes and scroll past Version 1 to Version 2 of the same letter, posted below, representing the more Christian-correct method of confronting marital discord, which I’m sure will make you a proud reader of this blog.]
Stop being such a jerk!
You are blessed to have a wife who is devoted, supportive, and loving, not to mention gifted, and you’re breaking her heart.
She is not your servant or your doormat! You are not intended to control and dominate her for your own selfish, misguided pleasure.
She works just as hard as you do, if not harder than you, and shouldn’t be treated like she isn’t making a fair contribution.
Can’t you get it through your thick, selfish head that if you would just treat her like the treasure she is, allowing her to flourish in the freedom of your support, encouragement, and gracious attitude, the blessings of the fruit of all of that would come back to you a thousand times over, and your ugly little, miserable world could be overflowing with all of the stuff you’re so desperately trying to coerce into existence?!
And don’t give me that crap about her not being so perfect! Of course, she’s not perfect. Does that come anywhere close to excusing you for your constant, incessant emphasis of her imperfections? Come on!
You’re suffocating her, and in the process, what you can’t seem to realize is that you’re choking the life out of the one thing that might just make your own wretched life meaningful.
It’s pathetic. Stop it!
I love you, too.
(And yes, I see the plank in my own eye – it hurts – thanks very much for your concern.)
Dear Brother in Christ,
Isnt’ God good?!!!! All the time, right?!!!! 🙂
Listen, I have ignored the gossip – I can’t stand that tool of the devil – but the Lord has really impressed on me lately that you and your precious wife might be having a little tension in your relationship.
Don’t worry, brother, it happens to all of us from time to time. You know, the devil is wicked and always seeking a way to attack the Lord’s precious ones.
So, bro, I’m lifting you up in prayer and wanted you to know that if you ever need someone to talk to or pray with, you just let me know. I’m here for you, just like Jesus said we should be for each other.
I know your wife may be struggling, but she’ll get it figured out. Maybe you need to spend a little extra time in the Word with her over the next couple of days. I would suggest Proverbs 31.
You know, some seasons in life are just real hard, but God is good! When we get to heaven, things will be great over there, won’t they?
I’m praying for you!
God bless you!
Yours in Christ!
Your loving brother!